For a child facing fears is an unavoidable part of growing up. Parents can help their children navigate through scary situations, such as fear of the dark, thunderstorms, fear of doing things (like riding a bike), or a fear of heights. Helping children overcome fears and be brave will guide their character growth and give them “Courage at last.”
As a parent, it is essential to teach children that there is no shame in feeling fear. Fear harms when it is allowed to control one’s actions and keep one from having fun or experience situations in life. Being brave is when you decide to do things even though you are feeling scared. Not to be confused with being dumb, in which case you might be afraid and do stupid things.
Parents can help children overcome fears by teaching them how to deal with anxiety and move forward when they are afraid. Encouraging children to be brave means teaching them that sometimes we have to do something even though we are scared.
Validate And Discuss Fears
Assure your children that you are there for them. Let them know that you are taking them and their fears seriously by listening to them. Ask your child specific questions about their worries.
Why are you afraid to ride your bike without training wheels?
What makes you fearful of the big slide on the playground?
Validate and discuss what your child’s fear is. Until you understand what they fear, it will be hard to make them “brave as any beast that ever lived, if not braver.”
Develop A Plan Of Action
Because children may not be able to explain their feelings or express what they are afraid of, you need to ask and answer questions. Their fear may not be the high slide at the playground or riding a bike without training wheels, but something else related or unrelated.
If their fear is the height of the slide or no training wheels, then work on those fears. Once a parent identifies the anxiety, they can help the child overcome the concern with a plan of action.
Developing a plan of action with your child will help them learn how to problem-solve. Ask your child if they would be willing to work on the fear and what they would be willing to do to overcome it. Let your child know that you will be there with them by their side and that they must be willing to do their part too.
To Be Brave Start With Small Steps
Take small steps that allow your child to achieve, build confidence, and encourage them to move forward. When working on a specific fear, such as a fear of heights (high slide in the playground), have your child climb to the highest point they feel comfortable and come back down.
On your next trip to the playground, have your child climb one or two steps higher up the slide’s ladder. Encourage them to take that extra step or two, but do not push. Better still, have your child determine the number of steps up the slide ladder they will go before going to the park. Having a defined goal in mind will improve their ability to succeed and achieve their goal. For example, if your child climbs 3-ladder rungs each trip to the playground, then in 3-trips, they will master the 9-rung ladder.
Of course, after reaching the top of the ladder, your child still may not be ready to slide down. So again, do not push. It may take several more attempts to climb to the top of the ladder to get over their fear of sliding down. Remember that it might not just be a fear of heights that has your child dreading the big climb.
If there is still apprehension after one or two trips to the park, then suggest that you will slide down with your child. If all goes well, one or both of you will be having the time of your life. Before your child knows it, they will be going down the high slide like a pro. As always, be patient. Setbacks can and do occur as fears may resurface-just start again and set a timetable, especially if they are procrastinating. Remember, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Visualization And Peer Teaching
When children pretend or visualize, they are performing an activity they are afraid of, it helps take some of the fear away when they have to do it. Make a game out of climbing the ladder of the high slide at the playground. Have your child imagine the ladder like it is the board game Chutes and Ladders. Being able to visualize something fun and exciting will help make a fearful situation less scary.
Peer teaching, enlisting the help of other children to aide your child gain courage and bravery, can work wonders with some anxieties. However, picking the wrong kids to help can be extremely detrimental as well. Make sure you are one hundred percent sure anyone’s help you enlist will result in support and kindness.
Peers are great, right up to the point where they bully or make fun of the struggles and anxieties of another child. The last thing you want is a little helper running around telling everyone about your child’s worries. While some children can climb extra high without any fear, others may run away screaming at the sight of a tiny spider. Having a friend or another child who has concord the same or similar fear often helps, but as previously noted, make sure you know they will not turn the tables and make matters worse.
Be Brave Conquer Fear
When conquering fear, having friends around for moral support is even sweeter because then a child will have immediate peer feedback, encouraging their success and newfound bravery. As a wonderful wizard in a faraway land once said, “The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.”
Speaking of courage and being brave, learning how to ride a bike without training wheels can be a rather scary process. Just think how brave one would need to be to tell their friends they have no clue how to ride on two wheels only. Like that would ever happen! And since that will never happen, check out my latest adventured titled The Young And The Brave. Find out how I muster up incredible courage to overcome one of my biggest fears and learn what it means to be young and brave.
