In today’s world, raising honest children just won’t happen without guidance. Too many signals are being sent their direction that attempt to lead them astray. Parents are the first line of defense when it comes to a children’s moral compass, and they must teach their children that honesty is the best policy. How can parents raise honest children?
- Praise Not Punishment. Encourage your children to tell the truth and don’t punish them for telling the truth (even after they have told a lie). Around the age of 4 or 5, children learn to lie, but they will usually tell the truth when asked. You’ll hear some “tall tales” from your little ones and it may be discouraging to hear them, but a parent must help a child learn from their mistakes and not be afraid, to tell the truth. Fear of punishment does not make it okay to be dishonest. Highlight the benefits of telling the truth and behaviors of integrity, instead of the consequences or punishment of their misdeeds. Children will learn and understand that being honest feelings good, as opposed to fearing punishment. Note to self: praise without punishment must be done within reason. Children must learn, and thus be taught, that actions have consequences and individuals are held accountable for their actions. Not learning this aspect of the honesty equation will set your child up for failure later in life. Unless they go into politics…YIKES!
- Teach, “It Pays to Be Honest.” Discuss stories that show positive outcomes after an incident of dishonesty. According to Doctor Vanessa LoBue, Child Psychologist, children respond better to positive stories, such as “George Washington and the Cherry Tree” or stories about “Honest” Abe Lincoln rather than stories with negative outcomes, such as “The Boy That Cried Wolf” or “Pinocchio.” Choose stories with characters that are close to the age of your child, so they will be able to relate with the characters. The more a child identifies with a character, the more valuable the lesson will be. Through positive stories, your child will learn how great it feels to be honest because they will see that it pays to be honest.
- Teach By Example. Always telling your child the truth will build trust. Again within reason, we’ll save the Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy discussion for later. Parents will, on occasion, tell a fib or “white lie” to a child, because they believe that it’s in the child’s best interest. It may be hard to admit, but children will feel more secure when they know they can trust their parents to be honest with them, even when honesty is difficult to hear.
Of course, other activities that teach honesty too. Remember, monkey see, monkey do. Kids tend to copy what they see, so the best way to raise honest children is, to be honest, yourself. C.S. Lewis, noted author of the young adult’s book series about the adventures of Narnia, once said, “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.” Honesty is being a person of integrity. And even if you may not realize it, your kids are watching you. So be honest and your kids will follow suit.
Don’t forget to check out Nuff’s latest adventure titled It Pays To Be Honest and watch as his character is tested to the extreme. Join Nuff on this journey and in the end, find out if his parents have taught him the importance of honesty…?
